Sweet Endings

As a part of letting go of excuses, I have decided to give up sugar. For good. I know that I do not need sugar in my system. My body does not need this.

But as I thought of forever, I started feeling sad. WHY, I asked myself? Why out of all the emotions I could feel, was sadness the most predominant? I always resorted to a cake or some ciecream when bored or sad.. it always filled space, whether that space was time between activities, or the occasional hole in my heart.

I guess sugar and its offspring have kept me company for many many years in different ways. I ate cupcakes to celebrate, slices of cake when I was sad, ice cream when the world was perfect, coffee cakes when socializign with a friend at starbucks, ice cream while watching television, and granola bars for a stressful day at work. It has been a huge huge part of my life. And just giving it up.. letting go.. not temporarily too, makes me feel like I am breaking up with a girl friend who has been there for me.

But sometimes you have to let go of some of your friends. Especially when they have a tendency to hold you back in life when you're vulnerable to them; when you can't find them being your friend when you look in the mirror and wonder why everyone else is so perfect and you're really not. when they convince you that all the other proof in your evidence bag of shame, that they are not good for you does not matter as long as they are there to comfort you.
Sugar will not be my weakness. She will not be my cyclic prison..
I am letting go of sugar. Forever. But that does not mean that I won't nod in hello if we ever happen to walk across each other on the street .